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Problem-solve for difficulty defining or reaching your goals
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From the previous section, we've seen that goal setting stems from an image of yourself in the future. But, of course, this begs the question, "Who are you?" Are you what your parents say you should be? Are you dressing and living like everyone else your age? Are you finding your own interests? What are you like? What do you like? What would you want to be like in the future? These are very difficult questions, with no single or simple answer.
Difficulty setting goals often stems from uncertainty about these fundamental questions regarding your identity. To answer them you must realize that, at this point in your life, you are a composite of many different life experiences, beliefs, teachings, and personal reflections.
To clarify your understanding of yourself, now and in the future, think about your most positive, successful, energizing, and satisfying life experiences to date. What have you done? Who were you with? What were you interested in? What was energizing/satisfying about it? What do these experiences say about you as a person? What can you know about yourself from them? If you had to characterize yourself as a type (based upon these different experiences), what type are you? outdoor type, musical type, academic type? scientific type? entrepreneurial type? conservative/liberal? athletic? artistic? social? What words would you choose?
Further work on self-understanding can be done through a Career Decisions Workshop or by speaking with a counselor.
Difficulty reaching goals frequently stems from competing interests, procrastination, fear of failure, ruts, and conflicts with others. Competing interests are your own. Maybe you are trying to do too much - like major in bio-engineering/pre-med, play Division 1 basketball, and work for the Student Association. Review your commitments, recognize your priorities, and begin to manage your time. The section on getting organized may help with this. Procrastination, Fear of Failure and other obstacles to time management have been discussed elsewhere.
A conflict of interests occurs when your goals are distinctly different than those of a significant other (parent, spouse, employer). Let's say that you want a career in the arts and your parents (who are paying for college) want you to be more practical and take business courses. To resolve a conflict of interest of this magnitude, all parties need to step back, consider the overarching goals and values, and be willing to be open, creative, and willing to compromise. In this case, all parties are working for success, security, and happiness. How might you both achieve these things? How might you work together? Would it be better to minor in business or art? If your parents understand that you are willing to respect and listen to their wishes -- if they see that you are open to conversation and compromise, who knows how it will all work out? But, you'll be working together, and giving priority to maintaining your relationship.
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