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Parent Services
Welcome to the GW University Counseling Center's Parent Services homepage. This page is designed to help you understand and prepare for some of the unique experiences your children may have during their college years. This developmental period can be a significant transition time for your son or daughter... and for you. We hope the following links will provide you with valuable information about the UCC and other helpful resources, as well as offer you support and guidance during this period of adjustment.
Understanding the transition to college
UCC services
How the UCC can help parents
Helpful links and resources
Understanding the Transition to College
What your child may experience:
For your son or daughter, college will likely be a period of intellectual stimulation and growth, career exploration and development, increased autonomy, self-exploration and discovery, and social involvement. During this period, your children may forge new identities or seek to clarify their values and beliefs. This may require an examination of self, friends, and family. It may also be a time for exploration and experimentation, and a period in which your children may question or challenge the values you hold dear. The changes your son or daughter may experience can occur quickly, as they begin to develop new peer relationships, gain competence in new areas, and learn to manage their independence. It is important to recognize that every child will experience his or her own unique set of challenges and adjustments, just as every parent will have different expectations for and reactions to their child's college experience.
What parents may experience:
Often overlooked is the fact that the college experience is a significant transition for parents as well as their children. As parents, you may experience feelings of happiness, excitement, and pride when your child leaves for college. At the same time, you may feel a sense of sadness and pain and have many understandable fears and concerns about your child's future and well-being. You may worry about your child's safety and ability to care effectively for him or herself. You may fear losing your child as he or she begins to function more independently and form deep attachments with peers. You may be concerned about how your child will deal with alcohol, drugs, and sexual relationships. You may also wonder how your child's performance in college will reflect on you as the parent. You can expect to feel a variety of emotions.
How you can support your child:
1. Although your child wants and needs to become more autonomous during this period, it is important for your son or daughter to know you are still there for them and available to talk about issues which arise. Maintaining a supportive relationship with your child can be critical to their success in college, particularly during their first year. If you and your child were not particularly close prior to their leaving home, it is still important for you to convey your support. You may be surprised to find that some space and distance from your child can help improve your relationship.
2. It is important to maintain regular contact with your child, but also to allow space for your child to approach you and set the agenda for some of your conversations. Let your child know that you respect and support his or her right to make independent decisions and that you will serve as an advocate and an advisor when asked. Finally, recognize that it is normal for your child to seek your help one day and reject it the next. Such behavior can be confusing and exhausting for parents, so make sure to take care of yourself by talking about your feelings with your own support system.
3. Be realistic and specific with your child about financial issues including what you will and will not pay for, as well as your expectations for how your son or daughter will spend money. It is also important to be realistic about your child's academic performance, recognizing that not every straight-A student in high school will be a straight-A student in college. Help your children to set their academic goals; encourage them to do their best and to seek assistance if needed.
4. The fact that your child has left home does not necessarily prevent family problems from arising or continuing. Refrain from burdening your children with problems from home they have no control over and can do nothing about. Sharing these problems with your children may cause them to worry excessively and even feel guilty that they are away from home and unable to help.
5. Find out contact information for people involved in the various aspects of your child?s college experience. These individuals may include academic advisors and deans, financial aid officers, and residence hall staff. If you have questions, or if a particular problem arises, call the appropriate person, but make sure to involve your child in a collaborative effort to address the problem.
How you can support yourself:
1. Recognize that it is normal to have mixed feelings when your child leaves home. Feelings of pain and loss often accompany separation from loved ones. It is also normal to feel a sense of relief when your son or daughter leaves for college and to look forward to some time alone, with your significant other, or with your younger children.
2. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions arise during this period of adjustment; develop and maintain your own support systems.
3. Do your best to maintain your own sense of well-being. This may involve eating and sleeping well, exercising, and setting new and creative goals for yourself. If your son or daughter has moved away to college, perhaps it is a good time to do some of things you put off while your child was growing up. Taking on a new project or hobby can be an excellent way to channel your energy and feelings.
UCC Services
The University Counseling Center offers a variety of services to enhance your child's academic success and emotional well-being. These include individual and group counseling for students experiencing a variety of personal-emotional issues; crisis-response services; career testing and workshops; self-help materials; and a variety of on-line resources. For a more detailed description of each of these services, please return to the UCC homepage and click on the appropriate links.
When might counseling be appropriate for your child?
Students seek counseling for many reasons including, but not limited to the following: loneliness and adjustment issues, concerns about career choice and/or academic performance, family concerns such as alcoholism or divorce, emotional difficulties such as depression and anxiety, roommate conflicts, eating disorders, problems with alcohol and drug abuse, and suicidal feelings. Students may be seen at the UCC or referred for other psychological or psychiatric services depending on the nature of their presenting issues.
How the UCC can help parents
Call-a-Counselor service
We invite parents to call the UCC to speak with the counselor-on-call if they have any questions about our services or if they are wondering how to assist a son or daughter struggling with a particular issue. We can also provide parents with referrals to counseling services outside the University. To contact us "24/7", please call (202) 994-5300. Our office hours of operation are Monday-Friday 9:00am to 6:00pm.
What does confidentiality mean for parents?
Confidentiality is essential to the counseling relationship we establish and maintain with students who seek our services. We adhere to confidentiality guidelines mandated by DC law as well as those required by our professional licensing boards. We understand and appreciate that parents often wish to be involved when their son or daughter seeks counseling; however, the aforementioned confidentiality guidelines do not permit us to talk with parents in any way about their child's participation in counseling without the student's written consent. We can not confirm or deny that a student has come to the UCC for a counseling session or disclose the name of their counselor. However, if you are worried about yourchild, you are welcome to contact the counselor-on-call and share your concerns.
Self-help information
The UCC has developed self-help virtual pamphlets on a wide range of issues (e.g., grief and loss, students in distress, anger management, computer multitasking) which may be useful to parents and their children. Our website features a Virtual Academic Success Center which can assist students with developing or improving their study habits and other academic skills. In addition, we have links to over 100 pamphlets on a variety of topics developed by other Universities. Please visit our Academic Success Center and virtual pamphlet page.
Setting up an appointment for your child
We prefer that your son or daughter call the UCC to schedule his or her own appointment. We have found that they know their schedule best and that they are more likely to keep their appointment if they have scheduled it. A counselor-on-call can talk with you about ways to encourage your student to schedule an appointment and how to talk to him or her about counseling.
Paying for counseling services
The UCC asks that students pay for counseling sessions at the time services are received. We suggest that you negotiate with your child who will pay for this service and then have your student make his or herpayment at the time of each session. However, we can work out a payment plan when needed, and we can bill parents bimonthly if you feel this is the best option. In order for the UCC to send you a bill, your child must sign a release of information for billing purposes.
Insurance coverage for counseling services
The UCC does not bill any insurance companies for services and we are not considered providers on any insurance panels. Sometimes parents have received reimbursements for services. We can assist you by providing a paid statement for submission. Often our fee is lower than the insurance company's required co-pay, so you might want to investigate mental health benefits of your insurance plan prior to submitting statements.
Click on Mental Health Insurance Coverage: Questions to Ask for assistance with investigating your child's mental health benefits.
Helpful links and resources
Below are several links to informative websites that you might find helpful:
Alcohol, Other Drugs, and College: A Parent's Guide
College Parents of America (CPA)
This national membership association helps parents "prepare and put their children through college easily, economically and safely."
College Times
GW Parent Services Office
National Resource Center for First-Year Experience and Students in Transition
PFLAG (Parents, Families, Friends of Lesbians and Gays)
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