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Stress Management
Stress Management
Stress is a normal part of life
Stress adds challenges and opportunities to life. Without some amount of stress or tension, life would be dull and boring. Without some stress, we would not have the motivation we need to study for that exam, complete that study abroad application, or prepare for that job interview. However, too much stress can seriously affect your physical and emotional well-being. Recurrent physical and psychological stress can decrease your self-esteem and your academic effectiveness. It can diminish your interpersonal relationships and feelings of pleasure and enjoyment in life. The goal is not to get rid of the stress in your life, but to find the point at which you are experiencing too much stress, and build skills to help you maintain stress at an optimal level.
College can be particularly stressful
As a college student, you are under a unique set of stressful circumstances. In addition to the academic pressures you face, for many of you this is the first time you have lived independently from your parents, which is a major life adjustment for all of us. You are in a brand new social situation, having left behind friends and are working to build new relationships at school. You might be struggling with fitting in, feeling accepted and figuring out who you are, what you’re interested in studying, and what you want from your time in college. Managing your finances for the first time, living with roommates, juggling a job, classes and relationships all contribute to the normal stress of being in college. It is also not uncommon for students, particularly at a competitive university like GWU, to feel overwhelmed and anxious about meeting high standards, not wanting to “waste time” and to “make the most out of it.” College and graduate school present us many exciting but challenging experiences, which together can create a significant amount of stress if you don’t recognize you are stressed and develop strategies to manage it.
Signs of Stress
The first step to recognizing stress and managing it better is becoming aware of some of the common “signs” of stress. Stress signs generally fall into the four categories listed below. When you are under stress you may experience any of the following:
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Physical
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Thoughts/Cognitive
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Feelings/Emotional
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Behavioral
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· Headaches
· Tight muscles
· Back or neck problems
· Sleep disturbances
· Stomach distress
· Change in appetite
· More colds and infections
· Fatigue
· Rapid breathing and heart rate
· Shortness of breath
· Dry mouth/thirst
· Sexual problems
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· Memory difficulties
· Indecisivenes
· Racing thoughts
· Difficulty falling asleep
· Difficulty concentrating
· Poor judgment
· Fears of failure
· Self-criticism
· “Shoulds” and “Must’s”
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· Feeling out of control
· Overwhelmed
· Irritated and angry
· Anxious
· Restless
· Helpless
· Trapped
· Hopeless
· Desperate
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· Crying
· “Snapping” or picking fights
· Alcohol/drug use
· Skipping or sleeping through class
· Acting impulsively
· Losing things (i.e., cellphone, keys)
· Forgetting important meetings and appointments
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If you are experiencing a number of these signs of stress, you might want to consider evaluating the strategies you currently use to manage stress and think about making some changes.
How Well Are You Managing Your Stress?
Below is a brief questionnaire to help you assess how well you are managing your stress. Take a minute to answer the questions and calculate your score.
_____ If you feel you have a supportive family or support network, give yourself 10 points
_____ If you have a hobby you enjoy, give yourself 10 points
_____ If you belong to a social activity group (other than your family), that meets at least once a month, give yourself 10 points
_____ If you are within 5 pounds of a healthy weight for your size, give yourself 15 points
_____ If you practice some form of deep relaxation at least 3 times per week, give yourself 15 points
_____ For each day during the course of an average week that you get at least 30 minutes of brisk exercise, give yourself 15 points
_____ For each nutritionally balanced meal that you eat during the average day, give yourself 5 points
_____ If, during the course of the week, you plan and do something you really enjoy (that’s just for you), give yourself 5 points
_____ If there is somewhere in your home that you can go to for relaxation and to be by yourself, give yourself 10 points
_____ If you practice time management skills in your daily life, give yourself 10 points
_____ Subtract 5 points for each pack of cigarettes you smoke in an average day
_____ Subtract 10 points for each time during the day of an average week that you use alcohol or other drugs to help you relax or “blow off steam”
_____ Subtract 5 points for each evening during an average week that you use alcohol or other drugs to help you relax or “blow off steam”
What does your score tell you?
A “good” score on this is about 120. If you scored higher than that, the greater the likelihood you cope well with the ups and downs of your life. An average score is around 60. To improve the likelihood that you cope well with stress, target your stress management skills in the areas you received a low or no score in, or that subtracted from your total score. For some ideas about how to improve your skills in these areas, see below.
Top 10 Stress Management Tips and Techniques
- Take a deep breath
Stress often causes us to breathe shallowly. This kind of shallow breathing can cause more stress. Go ahead. Stop right now. Close your eyes and take a few slow, long, deep breathes. Next time you feel “uptight,” try taking a minute to slow down and breathe deeply. Breathe through your nose and out through your mouth. Try to inhale enough so that your lower abdomen rises and falls. Count to five slowly as you inhale. Count to five slowly as you exhale. Download a deep breathing relaxation audio. Listen to it at your PC. Put it on your MP3 player and listen to it whenever you need it.
- Get organized and manage your time
Over-commitment and poor time management are two of the greatest sources of stress. Plan ahead. Make a reasonable schedule for yourself that includes time for stress reduction as part of your schedule. This means building in time for exercise, healthy meals, an adequate amount of sleep, and social/relaxation time. Too much studying or working is actually inefficient and can lead to burnout. Resist the temptation to schedule things back-to-back. Don’t underestimate how long things will take. Figure out how long you think it will take and automatically add a buffer. If you need to improve these skills, work on them. Buy a book, talk to a friend about their time management techniques, or come to the UCC workshop “Get Organized” (add link here).
- Connect with others
We all need some time by ourselves to manage stress, but too much time alone can lead to loneliness, feelings of isolation and ultimately, more stress. Humans are hard-wired to feel better from social connections, so work with your body’s natural tendency and connect! Schedule time to take a study break with a friend. Go for a walk or grab a cup of coffee during the day with a friend. Invite friends to go see a movie, an exhibit at a museum, or an event on campus that looks interesting to you. If you’re having trouble meeting people, join a student organization (http://gwired.gwu.edu/sac/StudentOrganizations/) to find people with similar interests. If meeting others or making connections is more difficult for you, consider joining an Interpersonal Growth Group at the UCC.
- Check your attitude
Do you expect negative things to happen no matter what? It’s easy to see only the negative when you are stressed. If you have trouble feeling hopeful and optimistic that things will get better, you might want to try altering your attitude. Look for the one example when things did get better and try to see how this situation will too. Identify the things in your life that are working for you and appreciate that it’s not all negative. Sit down and think about one thing you could do that might improve the situation. Make a list of your strengths and how you can use them to address a problem. What gives you meaning and purpose in life and how can that help you feel optimistic about your situation. Get a friend to help you think about these things if it’s hard for you to focus on the positive. If none of these strategies are working for you, consider coming to talk to someone at the UCC.
- Know your limits
A major source of stress is worrying about things over which you have very little control, often someone else’s behavior. The only person in this world you have control over is you, which alone is a full-time job. If you add to that feeling responsible for or wanting control over someone else’s behavior, you are very likely to feel stressed, resentful and overwhelmed. Learn to accept other people for who they are and their limits, and focus on the one person you can control – you. Identify what behaviors you can change to improve the situation. This might not be what you “want,” but it’s what you can control and is likely to help reduce your stress and help you feel better.
- Respond rather than react
So often, when we are in a stressful situation, we respond the way we always do. Since your stress isn’t getting any better doing it this way, you might want to try something different. Next time you feel like reacting with the first thing that comes to your mind - STOP. Take a minute to think about the situation, and what would actually help you improve the situation. Buy some time to help you respond, not react. Tell someone, “I need some time to think about this, can we talk about this in a little while?” Get some space. Think about what you need. Talk it out with someone. Figure out how you want to respond.
- Slow down and soften up
It’s easy to feel “tight” all over when you are stressed. In addition to feeling tight, your life might get “tight”. No time for this. No time for that. You can’t think of another way of doing something. You are always right. If any of this sounds familiar, you might want to try slowing down and softening up. Where in your body do you feel tight right now? Breathe some relaxation into that spot to soften it up. What’s on your to do list that’s making you feel that your time is too tight? Take something off the list to lighten up your schedule and slow down. What problem seems like there’s no other solution? Talk it out with someone and ask for a different way of looking at it to soften up your thinking. When you are feeling tight, think “soften up.”
- Get physical and take care of your body
Physical activity and exercise is the best “drug” we know of to combat stress. Doctors could only hope to find something else so successful at reducing stress and improving your well-being! Academic life can be very sedentary, and sitting around studying is good for your grades, but too much of it can be harmful. When you’re feeling unable to focus and that you need a break, listen to your body. Get out and get some exercise. Go for a walk or run around the monuments. Take a yoga class at the Health and Wellness Center (http://gwired.gwu.edu/gwellness/FitnessWellness/FitnessPrograms/). Get involved in a sport (http://gwired.gwu.edu/gwellness/intramuralsports). Find something that works within your schedule and make time for it. Healthy eating and adequate sleep fuels your mind AND body. Avoid too much sugar or caffeine. Take time to eat a healthy breakfast, no matter what. Well nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress. Get a consistent amount of sleep each night. Like a car running low on gas, if you are irritable and tense from a lack of sleep or not eating right, you will be less able to “go the distance.”
- Laugh and have fun
Laughter is good for you and helps reduce stress. If you are taking yourself too seriously, find a friend who is good at making you laugh and tell them you just need a “break” from all the seriousness. Rent or take yourself to a funny movie. Go to a comedy club. Do something with your friends or on your own that is “fun.” It’s okay to have fun. Give yourself permission. It helps make you more prepared for the tough times, so don’t feel guilty about it.
- Talk it out
When you feel something, try to express it. “Bottled up” emotions often show themselves in stress symptoms and can be your body’s way of telling you these feelings need to come out. Share your feelings. Talk to a friend, family member, professor, clergy person or a UCC counselor to help you better understand what you’re feeling. Talking with someone can help make sense of the problem. Sometimes there are solutions to help you feel better, and sometimes you just have to learn to accept your feelings. They will pass, so find ways to make yourself comfortable while you feel them. If you want to share your feelings with someone they involve, use “I” statements and focus on observable behavior. Complete this sentence: “I feel (feeling word) when (observable behavior).” If this is hard for you, talk to a friend and get feedback before you communicate your feelings so you express them appropriately.
What if These Suggestions Are Not Enough?
Sometimes your stress is a sign of something else that might require professional help. The University Counseling Center is here to help you assess what is happening and help you figure out a plan to improve the situation. Please contact the UCC at 202.994.5300 to find out how we can help.
Recommended Readings
Carson, R. (1997). Don’t sweat the small stuff…and It’s All Small Stuff. New York: Hyperion.
Davis, M., McCay, M, & Eshelman, E. (200). The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook. Fifth Ed. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger.
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